10 May, 2007
THE DESCENT - a short story
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
I stood right next to her, taking in the splendid view of the city nightlights. It was an amazing sight, and I was going to follow it now with an amazing moment. We both were standing in one corner of the open-air restaurant, at the top of the 40-storey high Crescendo Towers. It was one of the few tall buildings the city had. From there, Nicole & I could see almost the entire city.
I had been waiting for this day for almost three months now. Today was the day I was going to ask her the question. I was almost certain her answer would be ‘Yes’. I had known Nicole for more than three years now.
Without letting her know, I tried to get the small jeweller’s box out of my trouser pocket. The waiter with the sizzlers tray rushed past me, brushing my hand. My arm jerked from the impact. The box went flying over the railing. The next second I had caught the box with my outstretched hand.
In hindsight, I don’t know if it was pure reflex action that caused me to jump and reach out for the box. Or was it the subconscious knowledge that I had spent a huge chunk of my savings on that exquisite diamond ring. Whatever be the reason, the result of that action was that I descended those 40 floors much faster than anyone would ever want to.
After that incident, I would give anything just to let her know that I love her immensely, that I want to marry her, that I want the two of us to live in our own big lake-side house, along with the four kids that we planned to have.
Here I am now, sitting right next to her, in her father’s car. He is taking her home.
If only Nicole could see me or hear me.
11 May, 2007 at 8:12 am
Oooh. Scary!
11 May, 2007 at 10:39 am
nice.me likes.
14 May, 2007 at 5:30 am
it hurts!
funny, but I have often thought about something like this, once I almost dived for a scarf that slipped from my hands, almost, I was very scared that day, I still think it can happen again, I dont know how it will end, I hope not like this.
Well written. I like ur stories. Short and crisp.
14 May, 2007 at 5:37 am
Gud one taks!! crisp and chilling!! i was too planning to wite such short “tail-kickers” (mera word :D) .. it has been a long time.. btw i wrote a short story while you were away..check it out at my spooky blog!!
14 May, 2007 at 1:21 pm
wowsome.. short and twisty
14 May, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Nice! Short and spooky.
-Punds
17 May, 2007 at 5:51 pm
>> MW :
>> chandni : thanks
>> neihal : thank u. and don’t even think about jumping after anything, including scarves & diamonds
>> aby : oye, thank-u yaar. am reading ur spooky story right now
>> manuscrypts : thanks, mate. i have always thought that u are awesome when it comes to writing short & precise
>> full2faltu : thanks, yaar. am waiting for your next story
22 May, 2007 at 11:57 am
jeepers creepers! This one’s good, man..
23 May, 2007 at 3:52 pm
>> Phatichar : Thanks
24 May, 2007 at 1:42 am
Good and creepy, Taks, but 14 words too long. (wink)
30 May, 2007 at 6:39 pm
>> david : Thanks. 14 words too long … hmm … I am still learning from writers like you about how to make my stories short & precise
I still have a long way to go.
At the same time, I have to say that in some cases I like the stories to flow on - without bothering about length